How to Practice Forgiveness According to Bhagavad Gita
Release resentment, heal relationships, and find inner peace through Krishna's divine wisdom on kshama
Forgiveness as a Divine Quality
In the sixteenth chapter of the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna enumerates the divine qualities (daivi sampat) that lead souls toward liberation, contrasting them with demonic qualities (asuri sampat) that lead to bondage. Kshama, forgiveness, appears among these divine attributes, placing it squarely in the territory of spiritual advancement rather than naive weakness.
अहिंसा सत्यमक्रोधस्त्यागः शान्तिरपैशुनम्।
दया भूतेष्वलोलुप्त्वं मार्दवं ह्रीरचापलम्॥
तेजः क्षमा धृतिः शौचमद्रोहो नातिमानिता।
भवन्ति सम्पदं दैवीमभिजातस्य भारत॥
ahimsa satyam akrodhas tyagah shantir apaishunam
daya bhuteshv aloluptvam mardavam hrir achapalam
tejah kshama dhritih shaucham adroho natimanita
bhavanti sampadam daivim abhijatasya bharata
"Non-violence, truthfulness, freedom from anger, renunciation, peacefulness, aversion to fault-finding, compassion for all beings, absence of greed, gentleness, modesty, steadiness; vigor, forgiveness, fortitude, cleanliness, freedom from malice, and absence of pride - these belong to one born with divine qualities, O Arjuna."
The Company Forgiveness Keeps
Dharma in the Bhagavad Gita represents one's sacred duty, moral law, and righteous path. Krishna explains that dharma includes personal duties (svadharma), universal ethics, and cosmic order. Following one's dharma, even imperfectly, is superior to perfectly performing another's duty.
— Bhagavad Gita
Karma in the Bhagavad Gita means action performed with mindful intention. Lord Krishna teaches that karma encompasses all physical, mental, and verbal actions, and their inevitable consequences. True karma yoga involves performing duties without attachment to results, dedicating all actions to the Divine.
— Bhagavad Gita
Notice the qualities listed alongside kshama: non-violence (ahimsa), truthfulness (satya), compassion (daya), freedom from anger (akrodha), and absence of malice (adroha). Forgiveness naturally arises when these other qualities are present. When you practice non-violence, you don't want to harm even those who harm you. When you have compassion, you understand why people act as they do. When you're free from anger, resentment finds no home.
This context reveals that forgiveness isn't an isolated practice but part of an integrated spiritual personality. As you develop these divine qualities through sadhana (spiritual practice), forgiveness becomes increasingly natural rather than forced.
Forgiveness and Spiritual Liberation
The Gita explicitly states that these divine qualities lead to liberation (moksha), while demonic qualities lead to bondage (16.5). Resentment and unforgiveness are binding; they chain us to past events and keep us in cycles of suffering. Forgiveness is liberating; it cuts the chains that bind us to old wounds.
The Liberating Power of Kshama
When you forgive, you're not just being nice to the offender; you're freeing yourself from bondage. Every grudge is a chain. Every resentment is a weight. Every desire for revenge is a prison. Kshama, the practice of forgiveness, is the key that unlocks these chains, releasing you to move forward unencumbered by the past.
Key Verses on Forgiveness
Verse 1: The Destructive Chain of Anger
क्रोधाद्भवति सम्मोहः सम्मोहात्स्मृतिविभ्रमः।
स्मृतिभ्रंशाद् बुद्धिनाशो बुद्धिनाशात्प्रणश्यति॥
krodhad bhavati sammohah sammohat smriti-vibhramah
smriti-bhramshad buddhi-nasho buddhi-nashat pranashyati
"From anger arises delusion; from delusion, confusion of memory; from confusion of memory, loss of intelligence; and from loss of intelligence, one is ruined."
This verse reveals why forgiveness is essential for our own wellbeing, not just for the offender. When we hold onto anger and resentment, we trigger this destructive cascade within ourselves. The person who wronged us may be unaffected, living their life, while we suffer delusion, memory confusion, intelligence loss, and eventually ruin.
Unforgiveness is self-inflicted suffering. The grudge we nurse doesn't punish the offender; it punishes us. Understanding this transforms forgiveness from a moral obligation into an act of self-preservation and wisdom.
Verse 2: Understanding Why People Harm
सदृशं चेष्टते स्वस्याः प्रकृतेर्ज्ञानवानपि।
प्रकृतिं यान्ति भूतानि निग्रहः किं करिष्यति॥
sadrisham cheshtate svasyah prakriter jnanavan api
prakritim yanti bhutani nigrahah kim karishyati
"Even a wise person acts according to their own nature. All beings follow their nature. What can restraint accomplish?"
This verse helps us understand why people behave harmfully. Everyone acts according to their prakriti (nature) and the influence of the gunas (sattva, rajas, tamas). The person who hurt you was acting from their conditioning, their accumulated impressions (samskaras), and the qualities dominating them at that moment.
This understanding doesn't excuse harmful behavior but helps us forgive the person while condemning the action. They were, in a sense, compelled by forces they may not have understood or been able to control. Seeing this, compassion becomes possible.
Verse 3: Seeing the Soul in the Offender
सर्वभूतस्थमात्मानं सर्वभूतानि चात्मनि।
ईक्षते योगयुक्तात्मा सर्वत्र समदर्शनः॥
sarva-bhuta-stham atmanam sarva-bhutani chatmani
ikshate yoga-yuktatma sarvatra sama-darshanah
"The yogi who is united in consciousness sees the Self in all beings and all beings in the Self. He sees the same essence everywhere."
The deepest level of forgiveness comes from seeing the eternal soul (atman) in the person who harmed you. Beyond their personality, beyond their actions, beyond even their conditioning, is the same divine essence that dwells in you. Their soul is pure, even if their behavior wasn't.
This doesn't mean their actions were acceptable; it means their essential nature is not defined by their worst moments. Just as you hope others will see beyond your mistakes to your true self, you extend the same vision to those who've hurt you.
Verse 4: The Lord's Forgiveness
सर्वधर्मान्परित्यज्य मामेकं शरणं व्रज।
अहं त्वा सर्वपापेभ्यो मोक्षयिष्यामि मा शुचः॥
sarva-dharman parityajya mam ekam sharanam vraja
aham tva sarva-papebhyo mokshayishyami ma shuchah
"Abandon all varieties of dharma and simply surrender unto Me. I shall deliver you from all sinful reactions. Do not fear."
This climactic verse shows divine forgiveness at its fullest. Krishna promises to liberate the surrendered soul from all sins, all karmic reactions. If the Lord forgives completely, shouldn't we aspire to the same? The Divine doesn't hold grudges; infinite love doesn't keep score.
This verse also supports self-forgiveness. No matter what you've done, surrender to the Divine leads to liberation from sin. If God forgives you, how can you continue to condemn yourself?
Verse 5: The Boat of Knowledge
अपि चेदसि पापेभ्यः सर्वेभ्यः पापकृत्तमः।
सर्वं ज्ञानप्लवेनैव वृजिनं सन्तरिष्यसि॥
api ched asi papebhyah sarvebhyah papa-krit-tamah
sarvam jnana-plavenaiva vrijinam santarishyasi
"Even if you are the most sinful of all sinners, you shall cross over all sin by the boat of knowledge."
This verse offers hope for both forgiving others and forgiving ourselves. Even the worst sinner can transcend their sins through knowledge. This knowledge includes understanding the nature of the soul, karma, and the path to liberation. If transcendence is possible for the worst sinner, then forgiveness, whether of others or self, is always possible.
Why We Should Forgive
The Gita offers several compelling reasons to practice forgiveness:
1. Resentment Harms Us
The chain of anger (2.62-63) makes clear that unforgiveness destroys the one who holds it. Delusion, memory loss, intelligence destruction, and ruin follow uncontrolled anger. Forgiveness breaks this chain before it destroys us.
2. It's a Divine Quality
Kshama is listed among the qualities leading to liberation (16.3). Cultivating forgiveness develops our divine nature and advances our spiritual evolution. Unforgiveness keeps us bound to lower consciousness.
3. Understanding Reduces Anger
The Gita's teaching on gunas and prakriti helps us understand that people act from their conditioning (3.33). This understanding naturally generates compassion rather than resentment.
4. Karma Handles Justice
The law of karma ensures that every action has consequences (4.17). We don't need to take revenge; the universe handles justice. This frees us from the burden of being judge and executioner.
5. Equal Vision Sees Beyond Actions
The yogi sees the same soul in all beings (6.29). From this vision, even enemies appear as fellow souls on their journey, making hatred impossible and forgiveness natural.
What Forgiveness Is and Isn't
What Forgiveness IS
- Releasing resentment: Letting go of the burden of anger and bitterness
- Internal freedom: Freeing yourself from bondage to past events
- Choosing peace: Deciding that your peace matters more than your grievance
- Understanding: Seeing why people act as they do
- Spiritual practice: Cultivating a divine quality that leads to liberation
- Self-preservation: Protecting yourself from the destructive chain of anger
What Forgiveness is NOT
- Excusing wrong behavior: Forgiveness doesn't mean the action was acceptable
- Forgetting what happened: You can remember while no longer being resentful
- Trusting the person again: Trust is earned through behavior, separate from forgiveness
- Reconciliation required: You can forgive without resuming the relationship
- Weakness: True forgiveness requires tremendous strength
- Letting them off the hook: Karma handles consequences; you're letting yourself off the hook
- Pretending it didn't hurt: Acknowledge the pain while releasing resentment
The Arjuna Example
Arjuna, guided by Krishna, fought the Kauravas while not hating them. He took necessary action as his dharma required but without the poison of resentment. This is the model: take appropriate action when needed, but don't let unforgiveness corrupt your consciousness. You can oppose someone's behavior without despising their soul.
Practical Steps to Forgiveness
Forgiveness is often a process, not a one-time event. Here are practical steps based on Gita principles:
Step 1: Acknowledge the Hurt
Don't suppress or deny the pain. Feel it fully. Acknowledge exactly what happened and how it affected you. Forgiveness doesn't mean pretending it didn't hurt; it means processing the hurt and then releasing it.
Step 2: Understand the Cost of Unforgiveness
Reflect on the Gita's teaching about anger's destructive chain (2.63). How is holding this grudge affecting you? Your peace, health, relationships, spiritual progress? Recognize that unforgiveness punishes you, not them.
Step 3: Understand the Offender
Apply the Gita's teaching that people act according to their nature (3.33). What in their conditioning led to this behavior? What gunas were dominating them? This doesn't excuse; it explains. Understanding enables compassion.
Step 4: See the Soul
Practice the vision of verse 6.29. Beyond their actions, beyond their personality, is an eternal soul. They are a being on a journey, just like you. Their worst moment doesn't define their essence.
Step 5: Trust Karma
Release the need for revenge or personal justice. The law of karma ensures consequences for all actions (4.17). You don't need to punish them; the universe handles that. Free yourself from being judge.
Step 6: Choose to Release
Forgiveness is ultimately a choice. Decide that you're done carrying this burden. Consciously release the resentment. You may need to make this choice repeatedly as the feelings resurface. Each time, choose release.
Step 7: Take Appropriate Action
If the situation requires action (setting boundaries, seeking justice, ending relationships), take it from dharma rather than revenge. You can take necessary action without hatred, like Arjuna fighting without enmity.
Step 8: Pray or Meditate
Use spiritual practice to support forgiveness. Pray for the wellbeing of the person who hurt you. Meditate on the same consciousness in all beings. Offer your pain to the Divine. These practices transform resentment into peace.
Forgiving Yourself
The Gita's principles of forgiveness apply equally to self-forgiveness. Many people carry crushing guilt about past actions, unable to release self-condemnation. The Gita offers profound relief.
You Are Not Your Actions
The Gita teaches that the soul (atman) is distinct from the body, mind, and actions (13.31). Your true self is pure consciousness, untouched by karma. The actions you regret were performed by the body-mind under the influence of gunas, not by your essential self.
Transformation is Always Possible
The Gita assures that even the greatest sinner can cross over all sin through knowledge (4.36). No past action permanently defines you. With wisdom and practice, transformation is always possible. The person who acted wrongly in the past need not continue being that person.
Divine Forgiveness is Complete
Krishna's promise in verse 18.66 is total: surrender leads to liberation from all sins. If the Lord forgives completely, who are you to hold yourself unforgiven? Continuing self-condemnation after divine forgiveness is offered is a form of pride, assuming your judgment supersedes the Divine's.
Practical Self-Forgiveness
Steps for Self-Forgiveness
- Acknowledge what you did and its effects without minimizing or exaggerating
- Understand why you acted that way, what conditioning or gunas influenced you
- Make amends where possible without expecting forgiveness from others
- Learn the lesson so you don't repeat the behavior
- Remember that your soul is pure, untouched by these temporary actions
- Accept divine forgiveness as offered in the Gita
- Release self-condemnation as an ongoing practice
- Live from your true nature going forward
Real-Life Examples
Example 1: The Betrayed Partner
After discovering her husband's affair, Lakshmi was consumed by rage and pain. For two years, she rehearsed grievances, dreamed of revenge, and couldn't move forward. The marriage ended, but the resentment continued ruling her life.
Through Gita study, Lakshmi came to understand the chain of anger destroying her peace. She began practicing forgiveness, not for her ex-husband's sake, but for her own freedom. She worked to see him as a confused soul acting from rajas and tamas, not as pure evil.
The forgiveness took time, with many setbacks. But eventually, she could think of him without the burning anger. She wasn't excusing his behavior, but she was no longer its prisoner. Her health improved, her sleep returned, and she could finally build a new life.
Lesson: Forgiveness frees the one who forgives. The offender may never know or care, but you are liberated.
Example 2: The Guilty Father
Ramesh carried decades of guilt about being an absent father while building his career. His children were now adults with their own resentments. No apology seemed enough; he couldn't forgive himself for those lost years.
The Gita's teaching on the soul helped Ramesh. He came to understand that he had acted according to his conditioning at the time, driven by rajas and ideas about success. He wasn't evil; he was ignorant. The person who made those choices was not who he was now.
He made amends where possible, built relationships with his adult children, and accepted that he couldn't change the past. The Gita's promise of divine forgiveness gave him permission to finally release the self-torture. He could honor the guilt without being destroyed by it.
Lesson: Self-forgiveness requires understanding your past actions through the lens of conditioning while committing to different choices going forward.
Example 3: The Abused Child, Now Adult
Priya had been physically and emotionally abused as a child. Decades later, the wounds still shaped her: trust issues, anxiety, and a deep well of anger at her parents. Therapists had helped, but something still held her captive.
The Gita's teaching on seeing the soul offered Priya a new perspective. Her parents, too, had been conditioned by their upbringings, driven by their own demons. They weren't justifying what they did; they were explaining the tragedy that wounded them too. They were souls caught in cycles of pain, passing it on.
Forgiveness for Priya didn't mean reconciliation; the relationship remained distant for her safety. But she could release the hatred while maintaining boundaries. She broke the cycle by not passing the poison to her own children.
Lesson: Forgiveness can coexist with appropriate boundaries. You can release resentment without becoming vulnerable again.
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